hazyxeyes

Golden leaves and overcast skies. Stars on scarves and mittens. Work, work, work is all I do. "She's a homebody." Too tired to do anything but what I'm supposed to. Caffeine is what gets me through the day. My hands are permanately red from pomegranates. Daydreams of last November and Remembrance Day weekend. The Cathedral of Saint Paul and an aching feeling. Cold enough for coats and now we look like eskimos. I'm always cold and always sick. I need to stop forgetting my vitamins. Everybodies got a map but me. "The Future Freaks Me Out." I'm pretty sure I don't make sense.

When I grow up I want to be a princess I want sunny days I want songs that sound like magic I want old musty books I want glittery tutus I want stuffed babies and teef I want ribbons and tiaras I want endless spinning and dancing I want sushi and bubble tea I want pirate days and tea parties I want to count all of the stars I want a city that never sleeps I want bubble baths I want foreign languages I want days where I feel like I never woke up I want speeding cars I want to feel infinite and invincible I want to feel pretty and happy When I grow up

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move Awake but cannot open my eyes And the weight is crushing down on my lungs I know I can't breathe And I hope someone will save me this time And your mother's still calling you insane And I swear that it's different this time And you tell her you give in to the demons that possess her and that god never blessed her insides Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things Crawl back into bed to dream of a time when your heart was open wide And you loved things just because Like the sick and the dying And sometimes when you're on You're really fucking on And yo